Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
