I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
