Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
