finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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