Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
