Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
