Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
