Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
