my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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