New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
