just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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