i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We're too hungover to prance.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
