I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
