you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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