She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
