i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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