I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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