I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
