My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So squirting runs in the family.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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