I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
