Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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