***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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