hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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