So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
