so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Mom said you looked used
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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