i think my tv is drunk
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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