Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
