i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
