I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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