You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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