Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
