I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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