Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
