i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
