I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
