do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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