its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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