Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize