It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
