it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
