I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
