I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
