I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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