D3 body, D1 cock
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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