brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
there's paper in my vomit.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
