playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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