i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
