It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
