i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
