Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The power of my boobs compel you
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
