He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
