Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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