A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So many bounce houses so little time
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
