I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
