she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize