oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
barbara walters just said penis...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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