Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
