They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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