I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
