I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
