Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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