i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
