There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
