I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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