Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize