if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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