Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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