It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
