you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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