i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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