i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
