No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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